Things I’ve Learned As An Ex-Perfectionist

Perfectionism. That girl who is always impeccably dressed, on top of her work, running in the best social circles but beneath the surface is drowning under the weight of her own expectations. I’ve been that girl, constantly planning ahead, always on, thoughts whirling a million miles an hour.

As a perfectionist, top student, boss babe, whatever epithet applies, the pressure to always deliver is intense. It’s about being valued-the praise & recognition you get for going the extra mile. It’s about identity- being the smart, successful, stylish girl. It’s about pride-never letting anyone know how hard it is, and certainly never asking for help.

Here’s the secret: it doesn’t make you happy and it never ends. There will always be the next thing you have to plan for, and you can never satisfy everyone. So why spend all your energy driving yourself into the ground?

Between university, this wonderful corner of the internet of mine & the search for summer internships, you can say that I have a lot going on. Add a marathon & trying to make the most of my time abroad in France on top of that and you can see where things take a dive into the overwhelming. And although I adore blogging, it can be a touch all consuming to share your life over social media and the internet 24/7. Especially when trying to present an image of a fashionable success all the time.

However, imperfection is far more relatable. As a blogger I struggle to find a balance between creating beautiful content & connecting authentically with my audience. But people crave both inspiration and honesty. Hearing that even Insta-goddesses spill coffee down their white shirts or miss a flight or have moments of self doubt. Knowing that a blogger you love also has a weakness for all things covered in cheese, or that she curses like a sailor & loathes mornings is refreshing. It brings us closer, connects us all, which for me is one of the reasons why I created a blog in the first place.

So as a recovering perfectionist I’ve learned to prioritize. That not everything needs 100% of my attention all the time. That showing up and pretending you know what you’re doing is half of life. That asking for help, reaching out is not weakness. That my joy is creating both beauty and real connections. Perfection is impossible, but happiness is. And I’d much rather happy dance any day of the week.  

xx

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4 Comments

    • Margaret Holmes
      March 6, 2018 / 11:18 am

      It’s such an important message, especially with all the pressure to be a girl boss and constantly hustling! Thanks for your lovely comment.

      xx Margaret

  1. March 5, 2018 / 8:01 pm

    I loved reading this post! You definitely sound like you have a lot on, I’m the same but its fine to ask for help and happiness over perfection any day!

    Lots of love!
    Alicia Xo – http://www.alicia-a-la-mode.com

    • Margaret Holmes
      March 6, 2018 / 11:17 am

      I’m so happy you enjoyed the post lovely! Happiness first and foremost is my new philosophy.

      xx Margaret

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